Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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