hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
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