oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Randomize
