I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
