): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Randomize
