dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
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