His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize