ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
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