yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
