you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
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