six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
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