at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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