ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
Randomize
