yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
Randomize
