dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
I just got carded by a ten year old.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Randomize
