Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
