Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
nutella sex= disaster
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize