dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Randomize
