Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Randomize
