I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Randomize
