I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
