6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
