I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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