What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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