WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
