i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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