Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
accomplished twins. life is a go
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
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