he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
I'm sobbing to NWA
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
Randomize
