I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
