i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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