I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
