break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
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