I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Never underestimate the power of titties
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
