you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I will die if light touches me.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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