best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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