still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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