i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
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