i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
