with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Randomize
