hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
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