Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
