All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
