i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
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