just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
