I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
Randomize
