I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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