So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Randomize
