My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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