You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Randomize
