You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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