Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Randomize
