She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Randomize
