I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize