Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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