i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
