if i died would you start the facebook group?
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
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