another moral hangover. fuck.
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
Randomize
