I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Randomize
