goodnight i made you a song goodbye
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Randomize
