I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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