I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Randomize