she smelled like a LAN party
So gin and wine won't be happening again
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
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