you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
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