This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Randomize
