HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize
