I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Last time i carry you out of a forest
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
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