I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
